2013 Summer Fashion Preview

Limited edition bangles. $50 copay at AGH

This summer, it's all about the accessories. I mean, we all have our closets stocked full of the hippest J. Crew culottes and American Apparel clam diggers...it's time that we fine tune our wardrobe to show the world how unique we really are!!!

The model shown on the right is wearing the latest designs to hit the runway. Not only do these bracelets POP with color, but they are also utilitarian. Haven't you always wanted to tell the world you are a fall risk? Now you can do it in style! These super-exclusive stackable bracelets aren't available in stores...visit your local ER for more details!

Psychedelic gowns are perfect for girls who aren't afraid to stand out!

Ladies, forget about the skorts for a moment and consider the future of fashion: open-backed gowns! These patterned frocks are bound to call attention to all of your assets. If you are feeling a bit naughty, you can leave a string untied in the back to showcase your goods. Or, unsnap a few of the shoulder buttons to draw attention to your clavicles.

And let's not forget about the gents! This outfit is unisex and will make all of your ladyfriends swoon. I mean, what is hotter than being able to see a man's hairy, fat ass without having to subscribe to Cinemax??

Not only are these garments chic, but they are also durable. We all have little mishaps now and again. For those of us who are accident-prone, this is the perfect summer dress. The colorful geometric shapes and grey striations will hide even the most nasty of fluids - blood, urine, and feces stains will become a thing of the past! This gown will disguise all of those unmentionables while making you look like a super sexy sack of potatoes! Pro tip: for those of us who are a bit modest, you can double up the gowns! Just wear one as a dress and one as a robe, and no unauthorized eyes will be privy to your goodies.

Unfortunately, this garment is not sold in stores. However, if you book a stay at your local hospital, you can shove a few of these in your bag upon discharge. Don't miss an opportunity to score the hottest new dress to hit the market!